Is This One of Those Fun Quirks That Come With Age?

I’m sitting at my desk minding my own business and all the sudden my body starts screaming “You have to pee!  You have to pee!  If you don’t get up and go to the bathroom RIGHT NOW there will be a puddle under your seat the size of Lake Michigan and all of your coworkers will laugh at you for years to come and tell their children the ridiculous story of how their coworker drowned in her own voluminous puddle of urine right in her cubicle!”

So, I jump up and head to the bathroom.  And there’s, like, a three-second tinkle of pee.  What the fuck?  Why was my body telling me we were at DEFCON six thousand for one tablespoon of nothing?

And building upon that, I’d like to give a big FU to whoever decided that .5 ply toilet paper is acceptable.  I pull a few squares off to try and clean up my lady bits and after one swipe it’s so shredded you’d think I was packing barbed wire.

So, is this because I’m getting older or is it because I probably have some sort of degenerative bladder disease?  I don’t have health insurance, I have reader(s?).

PS – Happy Veterans’ Day!  I feel kinda bad because vets obviously deserve a little better than a one-liner at the end of a post about bladder control.  So I’ll post a pic of my cousin Manda who’s in the Navy because I love her the most out of everyone in the military.