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Can I Do It?

February 4, 2011

My inherent narcissism is about this close to trumping my desire for privacy.

From the time I started this blog, a whopping 4 months and 20 posts ago (ok, only like 15 if you don’t count the one-liners), I wanted to keep it separate from my personal life.  I wanted to have the liberty to write about anyone and anything I chose.  Mostly because I like talking shit and I don’t want to have to censor myself so as not to hurt anyone’s feelings.  But now one simple little iPhone app has me reevaluating whether or not I really want to do that.


That whore.

I couldn’t have cared less about twitter before I got a fancy schmancy smart phone.  But now that I have the ability to share thoughts and photos on a whim I can’t get enough of that shit.  I’m in the early stages of what I can see becoming a crippling addiction.  I’m not the first to have this obsession, nor will I be the last.  That’s why twitter is such a whore; she makes it feel like the first time every time.

The problem is that I only have 17 followers.  About a third of them are bloggers that I read and enjoy who began following me when I followed them, a third are completely random and I have no idea how they got to my page (an Aspergers syndrome meet up in NYC?  Do my tweets seem socially awkward?), and the last third are a few of the people I met at a blogging conference I went to with my mom a couple of months ago.

(Although, I think I broke twitter etiquette.  I really enjoyed the conference and the people I met there, but some of their twitter feeds aren’t really what I’m looking for on a daily or hourly or minutely basis.  Some of them have different interests and senses of humor than I do.  Some continuously posted links, and that’s not really the type of twitter feed that draws me in.  For whatever individual reason I unfollowed them.  Not maliciously, but I felt guilty.  Was that a dick move?  If you’re reading this and I unfollowed you I do feel bad…but I guess my real response would be “Suck it, it’s just twitter.”)

It’s not really my lack of followers that has me wanting to come out, it’s my lack of followees.  I only follow two people I know in real life (Hi Mom!  Hi Kat!) and the rest are other bloggers and celebrities.  Mostly comedians.  Twitter would be much more fun if I knew of more people to follow.  The easiest way to do that would be to post on facebook.

And therein lies the rub.  My twitter account is linked to this here blog.  Which means that my real life people of all friendship levels, from besties and family to random people I’m friends with on fb but wouldn’t acknowledge in real life, would possibly read this.  I haven’t really written anything I’d be too concerned about yet.  But once you’re officially “out” you have zero control over who reads your shit.  Not that I have any control now, but I know that the majority of my readership comes either from carry overs from my mom’s blog or people who made their way here through comments I’ve posted on other blogs.  Which is pretty much nobody who actually knows me.

I don’t think I’ll ever post links to my blog directly on facebook.  But if I do post my twitter then anyone that goes to my profile there can follow it right back here.  Which kinda (hopefully?) means that only the more social media savvy folks would really be interested…and that those people are more likely to have blogs.  With 500+ facebook friends I’m certain that there are more blog writers than just the 3 I know of and I’m really interested in seeing who.  I enjoy reading about people I know.  It’s like facebook stalking with a thousand times more depth.  It may seem odd, but my own thinking on this little bloggie blog is that I don’t particularly care to share it with everyone (what?  that’s the whole point of a blog? *lalala I can’t hear you*), but for some reason I feel much more comfortable sharing it with someone else who has a blog.  I guess I just feel like they’d be less judge-y.  I’m always inclined to believe that if I think a certain way there’s a pretty good chance that plenty of other people think that way too.  Talk about narcissism.


So it seems that after typing this up I’ve pretty  much convinced myself to go public.  I really don’t think it’s going to be the big deal I’m making it.  I mean, how much attention do I think this little slice of heaven will really garner?  I’ll probably let the idea stew for a few days before I throw myself out there.

Until then, what do you think?  Are you an “out” blogger?  Has it made much of a difference?  If you don’t blog but like to read, do you tell the people that you know IRL that you read their blog or are you more sly and stalkerish about it?

5 Comments leave one →
  1. February 4, 2011 3:48 pm

    I am semi-out.

    I don’t post my last name on my blog for the sake of anonymity and security, but I don’t hide my blog from people I know IRL. I link to it on my twitter and FB. It helps that I don’t personally use my blog as a venting space – my hubby bears the brunt off that – so I don’t feel the need to shield people from it. Make sense?

    • February 5, 2011 9:38 am

      That makes total sense. The fact that any space I’m in when I want to vent automatically becomes “personal venting space” is the biggest thing that keeps me from going public. But I think maybe my fear of someone getting offended is probably blown a bit out of proportion…I’m probably not as controversial as I think I am.

  2. February 5, 2011 6:44 am

    It’s so funny that I grapple with the same thing.

    I actually have my blog link buried in my Facebook account, so anyone who is poking around enough can find it, but I don’t post links to my blog posts on Facebook, and I don’t have my twitter account linked. The thing is, my Twitter updates pretty much also get posted to Facebook.

    I wrote a blog post on this very topic.

    I haven’t been able to tear down the wall. I still wonder if I should just stop worrying. I wonder if the people on my Facebook account would care. I wonder if it would mean I’d be more… discriminating… in what I write.

    I’ve been wondering for months now, but I’ve not really done anything.

    One thing I know – there are a lot of people suffering from a deplorable lack of curiosity. For example, a did tell a person at work about my blog because he’s into social networking. I look at my stats and I am pretty sure he’s not come and read my stuff. It’s not that I think I’m all that interesting, but I do know that if I suddenly found the personal blog of my boss’s boss, I’d be all over that puppy reading every damn word. But he doesn’t care about my blog at all. So I wonder if it’s as big a risk as I think it might be.

    Anyway, I love your blog. (Asperger’s conference? That shit cracked me right up.) And I think if more of your friends knew about it, they would love it too.

    I suggest you out yourself!!

    (And let me know how it goes. OK? I might follow suit. haha)

    • February 5, 2011 9:51 am

      I agree about the lack of curiosity thing. It seems that anyone not involved in social media already is so much less likely to be interested. Which I think is a good thing. Or really nosey people, which I definitely classify myself as. Maybe that’s why your coworker didn’t check you out. Just like you, I would have been there in a heartbeat.

      And of course you love it and think I’m funny, you’re genetically programmed that way. I also inherited a lot of your sense of humor.

      Ooh ooh, I just had an idea. Maybe I’ll put up a fb status that says something like “I’m thinking about getting twitter account…who’s on there and what is your @? Do you like it?” That would be like a sneaky way to get people’s screennames while at the same time deciding who I’m ok with following.

      Or that’s just childish and stupid and I should just put on my big girl underpants and put myself out there.

  3. February 5, 2011 12:21 pm

    I’m a big proponent of the anonymity thing, mostly because it’s a hassle to have to check yourself and think about who in your real life might be offended or put off by it. I have my twitter and fb linked to my separate blog email address, so no overlap or risk of being found via email search. I gave 5 friends my blog address way back, and maybe 2 still read it, and I don’t even think they enjoy it. Blog people are different from regular people, so it’s tempting to find new readers via your personal fb account, but in my experience, their input/feedback/reactions were a letdown. Just putting that out there.

    Also, hi!

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